What Should You Not Do During Separation?

What Should You Not Do During Separation?

8 Things You Should Not Do During Separation

When disagreements or arguments occur that are deeply and emotionally damaging to your marriage, sometimes the best thing for all parties is a temporary (or permanent) separation. When you come to an agreement pause or stop your relationship that does not necessarily meanmarriage separation. That is the good news, but things have the potential to get ugly if you don't take the separation process seriously and fail to properly follow the dos and dont's of marital separation. This article will go over everything you must avoid when it comes to a trial separation and the 8 key mistakes to avoid.

FIRST, LET'S LOOK AT WHAT YOU NEED TO DO:

The best marriage separation advice we can give is to first speak with a lawyerand then speak with a marriage counselor. Having time to reflect on the marriage and getting support through marriage counseling is important, but once the conversation shifts to a place where a husband and wife need to be physically separate, maintaining the status quo is not an option. Especially, if the trial separation doesn't go well and things eventually move to the divorce process. Working with an attorney and marriage counselor is critical to making sure that everyone involved is respecting boundaries and working toward a common goal.

The next thing is to change your perception to be as positive as you can be. Not only is this best for your own mental state, but getting emotional and acting impulsively can also be harmful to you if the situation eventually ends in a divorce and family court. Therefore, you need to take the separation process very seriously and not react emotionally, especially when the conversation is about marriage separation, division of property, or spousal infidelity.

1. Don't Impulsively Leave Your Home

One of "The 10 Stupidest Mistakes Men Make When Facing Divorce," according to Cordell & Cordell co-founder Joe Cordell, is getting upset and impulsively moving out of the marital home. The reason the men's divorce attorney says this is because thechances of spending equal time with your children substantially decrease if you leave the house, and you potentially risk losing some of your precious possessions if things move forward to divorce settlements.

Cordell states that it is likely you will be viewed by the judge as the parent who gave up on the union. Most husbands foolishly believe that allowing their wives to stay with the children would be beneficial to their case, but the court is unlikely to share that opinion if the topic of property division comes up in the future. By departing your home, you provide your wife a clear opportunity to paint you as a disinterested husband who abandoned his family.

2. Don't Stop Your Partner From Seeing The Kids

Separation is difficult for both parents and children. Unfortunately, children will often blame themselves for their parents' marital separation. Whether you have filed for legal separation, are divorced, or are legally married and still trying to make things work, the best thing you can do is give your ex-partner permission to spend quality time with the kids if they are with you. You should never prevent your partner from spending time with the kids unless they are a risk to harm them.

3. Don't Rush Into A Relationship With A New Person

Moving forward is crucial, but after ending a partnership with your ex, give yourself time before starting a new relationship. Rushing into another romance is risky, especially with potential emotional baggage from your recent legal separation. Take this time for mental recovery and healing, showing respect for both yourself and your ex-partner. Focus on your children or other vital aspects of your life to aid in your comprehensive recovery. Remember, while most courts won’t mind your post-separation relationships, introducing your children to a new partner too soon can raise concerns. Maintain open, respectful, and honest communication with your ex-partner. Don’t attempt to conceal a new partner; your ex will inevitably find out, likely through the kids.

4. Don't Publicize The SeparationOn Social Media

During any breakup, it is best practice to refrain from publicizing the situation on Facebook, Instagram, or any other social media places to convince friends and family that you are right and your partner is wrong. That is likely not the reason the marriage failed anyhow, and online gossip will only make you look bad. So try and keep things private. Families and friends will undoubtedly need to be informed about your separation on some small level but the details are not necessary. Not to mention, every social media post, picture, video, email, and text you send could be used in court as evidence if things get really nasty.

5. Don't Badmouth Your Ex

Basically piggy-backing off point number 4, try to do your best to not speak poorly of your lover or ex-partner. Particularly in front of the children. This can be challenging if you caught your husband sexting or your wife cheating, but it is important to try and take the high road. Never exploit the circumstance to discredit your ex-partner in an attempt to win the kids' confidence. By doing this, you will include them in the separation process which is not okay. Simply, engage the children in conversation, and most importantly, reassure them that everything will be fine.

6. Don't Pay More Than You Should

In a trial separation, you might agree to financially support your spouse while renting a separate apartment. However, this plan can backfire if divorce comes into play. Continuing to cover all expenses, from mortgage to groceries, can unintentionally set a precedent for alimony. This happens even if you're barely making ends meet, portraying you as fully capable of supporting your spouse in potential divorce settlements. Instead, protect yourself by establishing a separation agreement that clearly outlines financial responsibilities. Transfer bills like cell phones and utilities into the respective person’s name. To navigate high-conflict situations, consider bringing a family mediator on board.

7. Don't Put Off The Inevitable

Even though you should invest in every possible measure to fix our marriage, sometimes a relationship is irreversibly damaged. The best advice is to never hurry into divorce and really think about the consequences of terminating your marriage. With that being said, you do not want a separation to last for years. Many couples end up waiting for the other to file for divorce and that results in maintaining the status quo which can be unhealthy for both parties.

8. Don't End The Relationship With Bad Blood

Separation signifies that you're already leaning toward a breakup. If it is clear that the end is near you should try to work out your differences with your partner. Maybe even extend sincere apologies to one another in order to end the hostility that had been building up throughout the partnership to put a peaceful and amicable end to it. When two parties can't agree, the court and attorneys often intervene in the matter and things have the potential to get disastrous. However, the majority of us are good people who can endure the intense suffering of divorce and come out the other side as better people.

Separation is difficult. However, you or your ex-behavior partner may complicate matters. Why not simply put a stop to it in a calm and collected manner? Even if the marriage or relationship may have ended, respect should still be shown to each other.

Related Article: Signs Your Husband Is Cheating Online


What Should You Not Do During Separation? - Frequently Asked Questions

What Should I Avoid During My Separation To Ensure A Smoother Divorce Process?

One of the key things to avoid during your separation is bad-mouthing your partner in front of your kids or on social media, as this can escalate conflicts and harm your children's emotional well-being. It's also crucial not to rush into new relationships immediately, as rebound relationships can complicate your divorce proceedings and emotional healing. Remember, communication with your spouse is essential, even if you're experiencing irreconcilable differences.

How Can Prenuptial Agreements Impact My Divorce Options?

Prenuptial agreements can play a significant role in determining the terms of your divorce agreement, especially concerning asset division and spousal support. It's essential to review your prenup and consult with a lawyer to understand how it will affect your divorce options. Collaborative divorce and divorce mediation are two popular alternatives to litigation that can help married couples reach a mutually beneficial resolution. Are you familiar with these methods? If not, consider researching them to see if they suit your situation by clicking here.

Should I sign any documents related to the divorce without the consent of my partner? No, you should not sign any documents, including divorce papers or agreements related to asset division or child relocation, without the consent of your partner. Doing so can lead to legal complications and mistrust between you and your spouse. Before signing anything, ensure you understand the terms and consult with a lawyer to protect your interests.

Can I Deny My Partner Parenting Time During The Separation?

Denying your partner parenting time during separation without the consent of the court or a valid reason, such as child protection concerns, can lead to legal consequences and negatively affect your children's well-being. It's important to be fair and cooperative when establishing parenting time arrangements, keeping your children's best interests in mind. If you have concerns about your partner's ability to care for your children, consult with a family law attorney.

Source: https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/child_custody

How Can I Prevent My Emotions From Getting In The Way Of A Fair Divorce Agreement?

It's natural to feel overwhelmed when separating from your spouse, but it's crucial not to let your emotions cloud your judgment. Avoid making hasty decisions, like selling the family home or signing divorce papers without thoroughly reviewing them. Instead, focus on clear communication with your spouse and explore options like divorce mediation to reach a mutually beneficial agreement. Additionally, seeking therapy or support groups can help you navigate this emotional period with greater clarity.

Source: https://www.apa.org/topics/divorce

This article was originally published on Tracking System Direct on Aug 2, 2022

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